Never say never.

It seemed as though there was never enough time in the day for her. She had so many things she wanted to accomplish, but not enough time to do so. She enjoyed being busy. Even if it meant she never got to see her friends. I mean, what did it matter?

Working all day was the least of her worries. She didn't like to go home, there was someone there that she did not like. Abusive he was towards her, as his day consisted of laying in bed or on the couch until she got home. Was this why she kept herself so busy?

The boss told her to leave early, that she'd worked enough this week. She dreaded what would await her if she got home. She tried staying longer, but orders are orders. There was nothing more she could do.

The scene was set. It was twilight, and a smoggy city was the location. Her apartment was situated on a busy street. She spent as much time as she could waiting to cross. Time was not long enough. She was trying to stay positive but as the sun went down so did her mood and her will to live.

She opened the door softly, and the watch on her wrist read just after six o'clock. A lump in the back of her throat died away when she realised he was not at home. A sigh of relief really. Contemplating going to the gym, as she threw her bag on to the bed and sat at the end of it.

Before her mind was made up, the door opened. The loud bang was actually her partner. She had no time to hide before he wandered into the bedroom with a rye smile on his face. An arrogant sounding hello leaked from his dried lips. Followed up by a wink, he then questions where she's been all day and what took her so long.

Lies of "I'm not going to hurt you" sprung from his ugly face. He looked like he'd gone twelve rounds with Mike Tyson, but his drug addiction was the one who had really knocked him out. There was no attraction any more, it was more like a fear of being alone. He once was a handsome gentleman. Clark Gable like. Then his love for methamphetamine turned him wrong.

Grabbing at her wrist, as if he was trying to strangle her veins as he raised his voice at her. Filthy profanities and curses echoed through the bedroom. For living on a busy street, it seemed even the cars had stopped to listen in to the violence.

With only murmurs and broken words being spoken, she tried her very best to stick up for herself. Tears like a hailstorm ran down her soft face. She was once a natural beauty, but not enough make up in the world could cover up what he'd done to her.

Incoherent screams and loud crashing noises were the only types of sound in her life. Nothing else existed for her. He was a bully, he demanded the money she'd earned today. She tried her best not to give in to the animal, but the beauty lost out to the beast.

He then left her, on the floor. She was now starting to think she deserved it. Though she did not sign up for a life like this. She was a scholar student, and was an entrepreneur. The world being her oyster and she was as pretty as a pearl. Now she's lucky to have five minutes of clear conscience.

The traffic seemed to have gotten back to it's mad state of rush hour. With more horns blearing and angry pedestrians. She cried. Not about her current situations, but remembering back to how life was. This was not a life. This was hell, shackled to the back of a moving truck which was plummeting down a cliff. Not even that, in her mind was as bad as what she had to deal with.

It was time. Time to move on. Time to get away. Time to make up for lost time. She didn't know how much of it she did have until he arrived back from getting his fix but she had to hurry.

Taking what was important, and stuffing it in to her duffel-bag. There was a watch her late grandmother had given her that she kept in the bedside draw. She put it on and cracked what seemed to be a smile. She'd forgotten how to form one it had seemed, until now.

With a bag packed full of as many clothes as she could fit in there, it was time to leave. She did not look back once. There was nothing to look back for. Nothing was worth what she had been living in. Nothing at all.

She hailed a cab. Before he was given time to ask where she was going she spoke softly and said "Just drive, just drive". Nodding in approval he did. Following her orders he did. The taxi drove from the busy street, and kept on going. They headed west, in no general direction. It could have been a coincidence, but the coast gave her the most beautiful sunset to look at. A twinkling of light in her eye. The colours of purple, orange, pink and red painted a portrait for a new beginning.

Orchestra's and promises.

I witnessed her from a distance,

As the car I rode in turned the corner.

She stood under the streetlight,

As if it was something out of a movie.

Beautiful doesn't even seem to describe her,

The closer I get the shorter my breath is.

The car stops and I open the door to get out,

A shy smile from her perfect lips form.

It's hard not to smile back at her,

In front of me she stands in her perfect beauty.

The light illuminates her in a way,

That makes my heart skip its beat.

She smells of a lavender field,

And looks like a breathtaking sunset.

Skin as soft as the summer sun,

With words spoken lightly as gentle rain.

Nothing compares in this world,

As I lay eyes on this girl.

There is no such thing as darkness,

When she is so bright.

A gentle embrace is in order,

And above us a sky of shooting stars.

She is love,

She is love.

The Southern Cross

Out the window,

On a still summer's night.

I stand and gaze,

To that which looks over us all.

Above us it sits,

Reminding us all who we are.

Our shadows never look the same,

Under the formidable night sky.

No matter what,

It is there, it is ours.

Sailing alone,

On a winters night.

Winds and tide,

Rise around me.

Lost all sense of direction,

Not knowing where to go.

To which I look above me,

For you to carry me home.

A twinkling guide to the homeland,

I'm lost without you.

Fall to my knees in the rain,

I think I died this time.

It's thunder and it's lightning,

There's terror in my bloodshot eyes.

But the clouds open through the storm,

Staring down at me, is that what illuminates.

And of all the things we swore we never would forget,

It was you.

Ancestral journeys across the ocean,

You guided our forefathers here.

To give us what we have now,

Through hardship, and spilt blood.

The stars above us shine so bright,

Always have, and always will.

The Southern Cross,

You guide us home.

To the land of the long white cloud,

Aotearoa.

I'm a human, not a headline.

Taunts and teasing,

Curses and swears.

It's only 8.30,

My life is hell.

A small town boy,

I grew up religious.

With glasses on,

Never short of a smile.

High achiever,

Quiet in class.

Little do they know,

Today is my last.

The clock runs slow,

My fate runs short.

Destiny awaits me,

No turning back.

I update my Facebook.

"Goodbye, no turning back"

I hurry along,

To the bridge after dark.

To take my own life,

No misery at all.

A spot in time,

A blur in the back.

With nothing to lose,

All is lost.

A human he was,

A headline he is.

An end of a life,

Suicide.

I have seen the moon today.

Full moon,

Crisp, beautiful, bright.

Cloudless night skies,

It's such a wonderful world.

As I silhouette I sleep alone,

As stars glisten above.

I've seen the moon today,

But yet to see you.

The colours you bring,

In to my life also bring me a smile.

I'm a grey road away,

But farther by heart.

The lake sounds gentle,

A soundly heartbeat.

Pick me up and take me home,

Because I can't walk alone.

We all roll along

Do you see the stars glisten,

And ask you for advice?

Do you hear the valley below,

Ever ask you why?

Have you ever noticed the setting sun,

Exhale and then sigh?

The sun shall still set,

And the valley will run on.

The winking starts will light up,

But leave you out to dry.

Do not look for inspiration,

Be inspiration.

Don't go stepping on daisies

Falling to the wooden canvas,

A delicate petal.

In rough hands that show years of hardship,

A luscious green stem,

Crumpled under pressure.

Picked for its beauty,

And its colourful life.

The petal itself,

Is helpless.

Falling to the wooden canvas,

A delicate soul.

An ageing man,

Thin and pale,

Hands violate his throat.

Picked for vulnerability,

And weakness of life.

The man himself,

Is helpless.

Given to fly

Tattooed arms and soft spoken words,

Mesmerising words of hidden secrets.

Flashes of light give a silhouette of life,

Show off to those we love and cherish.

What we were born with,

And how we've evolved.

With wings on our backs,

The days progressed slowly.

I had to reach up high,

To somehow get you back.

Flying to reach you,

Dying to reach you.

I've been up for days,

In the morning light.

Writing on the walls,

Screaming in silence.

Desperate for an answer,
Is the sky my alibi?

Autumn leaves me changing alone,

Revelling in untold confessions.

I stand alone,

On the edge of this cliff.

With tattooed arms,

I'm given to fly.

All I ever knew was not right.

Strumming a guitar, in the silent night.

The echo of chords, take off in the distance.

A melancholy melody of better times,

Rings through the crisp air.

An audience of one watches from above.

The man in the moon.

The man in the moon.

I always seem to give up on myself.

All alone, and nothing for miles.

Except for this here guitar,

And a pocket of ideas.

Fluttering like butterflies,

They want to escape.

But no one will hear them,

Songs for the deaf.

I always seem to give up on my dreams.

As silence overcomes the power of me.

The man in the moon,

Doesn't even applaud.

As the spotlight above me fades.

The curtain will close.

Goodnight, my dear friends.

There's nothing more that I can do.

The words I speak are empty,

The chords I play are silent.

The fire burns itself out.

Forever an artist,

Never a flame.

In retrospect

In retrospect

Our love should have lasted a whole lot longer.

I was there when you woke up,

And there when you fell asleep.

Felt like you were always in my arms,

You held my heart all day.

But only if I could hold this moment,

In the sands of time.

There'd be no need for regret.

In retrospect

I should have kept on smiling.

Though colour faded away,

A shadow of monochrome.

A silhouette of crashing waves,

Delivering a knock-out punch.

Goosebumps covered my arms

And you never said goodbye.

In retrospect

The artist painted a picture.

Which I can still describe,

It had me standing in front of you.

On the shoreline,

We stood so happy and free.
In retrospect,

You had me.

In retrospect

No one was as lucky as I.

And we almost joined hands,

And basked in reflection.

Put on my sunglasses again,

Dipped my feet in the sand.

Oh summer, oh sun.

Please - will you stay?